by Jacob McKay
NSFW: Extremely ugly
“Come gather around people
Wherever you roam
And admit that the waters
Around you have grown
And accept it that soon
You’ll be drenched to the bone
And if your breath to you is worth saving
Then you better start swimming or you’ll sink like a stone
For the times they are a-changing”-Bob Dylan
…………….But NOT LIKE THIS.
I was shocked and appalled to see that GQ published an article last week announcing that JNCO is back with the 40″ Mammoth Jean. These things are suitable for literally nothing, and from what I can gather this was in sometime in the 1990’s. For all you nostalgic 90’s people still watching “Friends” reruns, this was the 90’s too. Those of us born in ’96 or later seem to gloss over or totally forget about the bad parts of that entire decade, and this is one of them.
Apparently, the millennial #retro #90s craze made the people at JNCO think that now was a great time to roll these bad boys back out onto the market and it’s our fault. Baggy is in, but THIS hopefully doesn’t make a return until a new dominant species walk the face of the earth. If this becomes a trend in any facet of society than 2017 isn’t only going to be worse than 2016, it might be worse than when people thought monacles made any sense what so ever. Maybe this is God punishing us for are obvious lack of foresight or empathy when it comes to popular opinion on sociopolitical issues concerning the future of the human race. I just don’t want to see people wearing extra wide boot cut anything. Boot Cut jeans do nothing for anybody except identify them as a person who is just like every other person ever. Just a guy, or gal, who puts clothes on every morning just like the rest of us without knowing or caring what the clothes really say about them. People who were in to shuffling or shopped at Hot Topic wore black, baggy versions of these a few years ago. And we can’t blame them. Their Moms were right, it was just a phase. Hopefully the lunacy that is America right now is also just a phase. One that I might have to sleep through.